• Chapter 1

    The stars gazed inconsolably. Shrieking at the atrocity that was about to become a history of the universe. Each twinkling light knew that by the laws of nature their abundance should outweigh the distance, but nevertheless their increasingly imbricated pleas remained unheard by the self-centered population of the Earth. It had always been that the most mellifluous and melancholy sounds of the galaxy spiraled by unheard by the humans. Even signals like this, directed solely at one or two individuals were never fully caught. There had been, on a rare occasion, incidents where one innocent, perceptive person would sense the spirits of these distance suns, but even to the most insightful and uncorrupt, nothing more than a scintilla of a sound would ever be heard. And this had been the forever-ceaseless narration of the World. The Cosmos would cry at the corruption of nature and truth, and humanity would ignore him, or her, or what ever that entity was so that they could continue on their paths fueled by greed and pride.
    In this particular case, a young boy named Matthew held the head of his girlfriend as he gently laid her in the glistening, damp grass. While on this night the stars were directing their screams at him, Matthew’s pre-occupied and cocksure mind left him unaware of the subtle screeching in the essence of the wind. Even the callous autumn air itself brushed ineffectively against Matthew’s luminously white skin. Despite that tonight the sky’s cloudless atmosphere and moonless existence gave an unusually clear pathway for the universe’s message, Matthew was an individual similar to other “modern men” of his era. Thoughts, meaning, truth – those things didn’t come from anywhere but his own mind. Even if he had wanted to pay attention to something greater, this wouldn’t have been the right moment.
    Tonight it had been planned that the two were to celebrate in the ritual that had been sacred since the beginning of time, and for the boy it was the right time; he had, he reminded himself repeatedly, waited for exactly one year. So because this kind of impatience was mingling with such a ubiquitously self-righteous ideology, the boy did not realize the kind of innocence he was about to take undeservingly. Even God couldn’t have changed Matthew’s mind, because Matthew didn’t believe in anyone but himself. Yes, it was true that he loved her - as much as a selfish person could love another and as much as an arrogant person could understand what love was, but the boy was limited. His mind was a systematized machine, with each thought and action in its place. Life was an operational mechanism to be wired - a mathematical equation to be solved. So love to this young boy wasn’t ever truly comprehended. To him, love was running in linear path with someone. Having nothing more than simply a monogamous companionship that consisted of comfort and control. Emotions were faults. The boy would go on past this night to never know the truth, but yes, in his mind, he did love her.
    The girl – she was beautiful. Matthew did know that much. She had the slim and lissome figure of a dancer. In fact, she had been dancing since she was a child. Her movements had rhythm and were full of fluidity. Her skin was warm and softly freckled. Her hair mirrored luxurious stands of silk that glisten in the light like gold and her eyes were a translucent cerulean color with specs of sunshine tantamount to her hair. Occasionally, and more so recently, her eyes faded to a somber grey for one reason or the other, but the relentlessness of the night made this detail unobservable as it cast away every color her body usually held. In fact, even if there had been more light lingering in the air, Matthew would have still never noticed the difference. He had never noticed the golden shimmer in her hair that turned the head of almost every other human being and he certainly never noticed how her eyes generated a striking resemblance to the offing of the ocean. She was beautiful - and he did know that much.
    Matthew watched silently as his partner glance nervously to her left. Her gaze directed at a cluster of white begonias waiting to be demolished by winter’s first frost. The girl’s dazzlingly large and glinting eyes were narrow and unmoving even to the abundant amount of kisses that were being placed around her skin. Even so, this distant attitude didn’t matter much to Matthew. In fact, Matthew didn’t so much care for the girl’s personality. Initially, he had been drawn in by the girl’s reserve and social charm, but as he spent more and more time with her privately, he noticed an introverted philosophical substance that seemed to make up her inner nature. He resented that. He resented the intellectual perspectives she would chip in at random, spontaneous moments. He resented the logical rebuking commentary she would make in the instances where he would be venting on particularly heated issues. It was like she had a motive to undermine him. If fact, even her simple speech had begun to cause Matthew’s jaw to tighten and his fists to clench. She was constantly analyzing things, questioning things. The quietness was appealing. The thoughtlessness would make the night far more pleasant than if it had been otherwise.
    Matthew grabbed the girl’s chin and locked eyes with her. A ripple of light caught the boy’s eyes and reminded him of the past they had shared. They had first become acquainted at an evening formal. Matthew visualized the girl in her lustrous long champagne-colored dress, porcelain skin glowing teasingly in the soft light. Her wrist and ears had been draped with elegant diamonds that matched the brooch attached to her dress at her heart. Her hair had been curled and pinned to one side and there too diamonds danced and spun creating a shimmering waterfall effect. She was a foudroyant explosion in a mist of dullness. Matthew remembered his date whispering about how harsh and shallow the girl really was. That didn’t matter – he was captured. In fact, everyone was captured. Even Matthew’s date of the night, who had taken to insulting the girl after seeing where Matthew’s attention was focused, truly did adore her. It was impossible not to love her. When she was story-telling there was a felicitous essence to her movements. Her speech was like flowing water, her laughter summery and halcyon. When she sung there was alluring warmth to her sound. It didn’t matter how vain the girl was. She was captivating in every essence of her being. In truth, everyone in her circle was just as hollow as she seemed. Even with her looks, if she hadn’t seemed so conceited she would have been outcaste. Matthew remembered that night like it was yesterday. He wished the girl had stayed that girl he‘d meet on that faultless evening. Despite how much he loved her, Matthew knew if her demeanor didn’t change soon it would become impossible not to cast her off. Sure her hidden cunningness had been intriguing at first, but once she had begun to challenge things, once she had begun to correct his logic, she became repulsive to him. The ripple faded. He was ready.
    The mixed smell of petrichor and lobelia plants filled the girls nostrils. It should have soothed her rapidly moving heart, but at this moment, nothing could calm her. There was a sinking feeling in her stomach. The propinquity of what was about to occur had left her ineffable. The girl broke her locked gaze of the garden at looked up at her suitor. His red hair was dark from the penumbra that had cast across his face. There he was, strong and proud, protecting and using her all at once. The girl looked up to the sky, it was vibrant and accepting, yet she felt like something was cautioning her. Matthews whispered promises reassured and frightened her. He grabbed her jaw the way her father did when he was trying exert his control. She looked again to the sky. The night was clear but her mind felt foggy. Her mind was clear but the night felt foggy. She didn’t know which one was the truth. Honestly she wasn’t aware of the difference. There was a conflation of light and dark surrounding her existence and she felt the essence of chaos knifing into her mind. She wanted to scream, so she began to pray.
    Please God. Help me.
    There was no answer.
    Please. I’m trapped.
    She waited for a reply, but all she could feel was a chilling wind that made every cell in her body shiver. Something whispered in her ear not to worry - that she was safe. The girl couldn’t comprehend if the murmured hush had been the boy, or God’s reply or her own inner voice. She didn’t feel safe. It was impossible to decipher what she felt. Cold – she felt cold. The presence of something nebulous and dark was surrounding her aurora, thickening at each ticking moment. She felt caught like a baited fish, dangling out of control. Her own thoughts chilled her blood and cut into her like an arrow. Everything felt burned and ruined. It was as if match had been light and is destiny was to burn down every forest in its path. Her temple, her sacristy was about to be destroyed. Tears bean to flow in the silence. The girl turned her head so the boy wouldn’t see. To her side she felt her hand bleeding from the palm where her nails had dug in. She didn’t want to bleed. The girl watched the blood disappear into the ground. She had to fight. Her voice was empty but she had to be saved. She had to save herself.
    “No.” came a susurrus voice through the shadows.
    “What?” The boy startled back, surprised that the girl had spoken
    “No. I don-“
    “Stop teasing and shut up.”
    Hopelessness filled the girl’s ears. But the words she had felt earlier were somehow still warm in her mind. Something was beaconing through the fog. It was earnest and inviting and clear. It was safe. It was truth. She would make it fight for her.
    “Darling can I grab a blanket, I’m freezing. Please?”
    The boy looked up, aggravated to be delayed any longer.
    “Fine. Just hurry up,” he demanded.
    The girl did hurry. She had every intention to heed his advice wholly. She ran. Her home, her sanctuary, was almost close enough to touch but it still seemed light years away. She slammed the door. Her parents mumbled from far away if everything was fine. She remained quiet, stroking the handle of the closed door. She couldn’t lie. They fell back to sleep without realizing they had never acquired a response. She fell asleep with every light in her section of the house burning bright and fierce.