The Pain of the Games

• Artist: Violent Beckia
• Description: So this is a poem I wrote in english and I got a B on it
• Date: 09/17/2012
• Tags: pain games

As the cannons blast throughout the day,
I can't stop hoping my friend is okay,
Even though he plays with my head,
I can't help but think,
He better be alive then dead.

Fear strikes my body,
As I watch a friend die,
I know I'm on my own now,
But I don't want to say goodbye.

I know that these things happen,
But usually not in this way,
It hurts to deeply,
But I know I have to say okay.

I have to get over this,
There's only one way,
I open my heat,
Take in my fears,
And let it fly away.

As I look in the sky,
The pictures of the dead fly by,
All the people killed in these games,
All those families,
All in pain.

Comments

[Eretico]

I agree with vertummen,it would be better in the poetry section,not the fiction section.Also,pardon me if I seem harsh,but the rhyming pattern is different in every stanza,which makes it seem rather sloppy.The rhymes themselves are fine,but the pattern is very off.For example,in the first stanza the rhyme scheme is AABCB,with the different letters representing different rhyming words,yet the rhyme scheme in the second stanza is ABCB.There are a few spelling problems as well.Overall good though.

[vv7722]

It's a nice idea! I like the last verse especially.
also, should be in poetry rather than fiction. ^^