• I sat on the swing waiting to feel his arms push my back softly. I saw that he hesitated and blushed a bright red before walking behind me and pushing me gently. I giggled and started to pump my legs. My blonde wavy hair trailed behind me, and I kept going higher and higher. I felt like this was a dream, and when I finally hit the sky I'd wake up. But I didn't want to wake up. I giggled, and laughed some more. My long legs hitting the air. I saw the young children playing ball who never experienced love staring at us oddly. I laughed even more to annoy them. They walked away leaving me and him alone. His strong arms seemed so gentle on my back that it was surprising. I kept going higher and higher. Will I touch the sky? Will I wake up from this amazing dream? It must be a dream.. I thought. He stopped the swing, and pulled the swing back close to him. "Did you enjoy your swing, my princess?" He asked. I blushed. "Yes." I said quietly. "I'm glad.." He said. I turned a bit so I could face him. I stared deep into his eyes. I knew he wanted what I wanted too. He leaned in close and softly touched my lips with his. The feeling sent shivers down my spine. My head screamed with desire. I wrapped my arms around him, and we kissed once more..

    That was our first kiss. And I wish I could taste his lips again...

    But he is dead now. And I can never look at his handsome face and blue eyes again. I can never feel his strong arms hold me tightly again. Everything I felt and loved is slipping away. I spend hours trying to remember how his touch felt, and his kisses that were planted so softly on my lips felt. I try to remember how his hand felt when it squeezed mine when I was scared or worried. Tears would often fall down my pale freckled cheeks. When I get too depressed I think about the things I do remember. I remember him telling me how soft and beautiful my skin was, and that if there was such a thing I could be a skin model. I remember how he'd stare at me with his beautiful blue eyes before we kissed. I remember how he would sneak out at 1:00am to sneak into my bedroom and see me.. He'd hold me for the rest of the night and leave at dawn.. I remember how he'd run his fingers through my long wavy blonde hair. He'd always ask, "Are you sure this hair is real? It's too pretty to be real.." I remember being his princess, and he'd be my prince. And we'd laugh and giggle when we called each other so. I remember being at the beach with him, and him tying a piece of seaweed together like a ring, going down on his knee, and asking me to be with him forever.. Then promising me when he was older he'd buy me a real ring with a huge diamond. I wore that seaweed ring everyday. And It's still on my finger right now.

    I remember the news when I heard he died. I remember the phone call from his crying and screaming mother. "Cory died in a car crash.." I heard her say in a cracked high shrill. I remember being startled. "What?!" I said wondering if I heard her clearly. "He was driving to the mall to buy you something.. He didn't say what, and a car crashed into him, and he died!" Her voice was frantic. And I could hear Cory's dad in the background. "Why God? Why?!" I heard him call. I remember being silent.. And hanging up the phone.. Only to run to the place where we had our first kiss.. Only to try to escape reality, and it biting me in the face when I saw him in a black coffin..

    I stared out the window with a blank expression. I tapped my fingers on the glass just to hear the sound. The house was silent. Mom was out working and so was dad. I waited to see Kevin's slim and strong body heading to my house. It was a foggy day so I could hardly see anything. Just bare foggy figures. I saw a foggy gray figure heading to my house. It must be Kevin.. I thought. I sighed, and threw on my sweatshirt. I walked down the long staircase, and opened the door. I leaned against the door frame, and I saw his whole face light up when he saw me. I tried to share the same enthusiasm. I smiled, and he ran to me, and gave me a hug. "Hey princess!" He said. I shuddered. Only Cory could call me that. "Hi Kevin." I said in a fake enthusiastic voice. "How are you?" He asked. "I'm wonderful." I said. "I'm glad. So, where does my princess want to go?" He asked. I shuddered again. Stop calling me that! My head screamed. "Anywhere you'd like." I said. "Wanna go to our tree?" He asked. "Sure.." I said softly. "Our" Tree was a huge willow tree next to a small pond. Kevin said he used to hang out there as a child. Kevin smiled. "Then let's go!" He said. He threw me onto his back, and started running down the street to the pond. I closed my eyes and pretended I was on Cory's back. Cory loved giving me piggy backs. The fog flew into my face, and my hair trailed behind me.

    Kevin came to a stop, and I opened my eyes. We were at Our Tree. I smiled to myself thinking of me and Cory's place which was where we had our first kiss. The park. Kevin kissed my lips. He wasn't really a good kisser. His lips would smoosh into mine, but I knew he was trying to make his kissing skills better because this time the kiss was soft, and it almost was as good as Cory's kisses. But I could hardly remember Cory's kisses anymore. He died a year and a half ago. I pulled away like I always do. I saw the hurt in Kevin's eyes, and I turned around to ignore it. Kevin came up behind me, and wrapped his arms around my waist. He kissed my shoulders. I smiled lightly. I turned around to face him to see if the hurt in his eyes was gone. It was. He had that huge goofy smile on his face. "Wanna go swimming?" He asked flicking his eyes over to the pond. "Don't you think it's a little cold out?" I asked . "Nah.. If you get cold I'll hold you." He said grinning. "Meh..." I said backing up a bit. "C'mon. It'll be fun. Plus, the pond water is always warmer than the air." Kevin said. That brought a half smile to my face. "I guess." I said. I peeled off my clothes and stood in only my bra and underwear. The area had absolutely no people around it because the pond was buried underneath trees in the woods streets up from my house. I knew if my parents caught me doing this they'd kill me, but I knew they wouldn't catch us. My parents think me and Kevin just do the casual couple things together like kiss and hug.

    Kevin took off his shirt and pants now in his boxers. He jumped into the pond. I saw him flinch, but he pretended not to feel the coldness in the water. The chill in the air sent shivers down my spine, and I jumped into Kevin's arms. The water was freezing! I quickly scrambled out the pond, and threw on my clothes. Kevin frowned. "C'mon! It's fine." He said. "No way." I said in my clothes shivering. Kevin sighed, and got out of the water. He put on his clothes, and smiled at me. "You look so pretty with your hair all wet." He said. I faked a smile. "Thanks.." I said. He scooped me up into his arms. "Want to go home?" He asked. "Yes. I'm cold." I said. Kevin nodded, and held me like a baby heading back to my house. I closed my eyes again pretending I was in Cory's arms, and he was bringing me to the park. I shivered at the thought of Cory staring down at me and Kevin now. Would Cory be mad that I found someone else? I needed someone..

    I found Kevin six months after Cory's death. That's when I was extremely depressed. I needed someone. Someone to make me not so lonely. I picked the closest one I could find, and that was Kevin. Kevin had been in my classes in school several times but I never really talked to him. Once Cory died, and he knew I was single he started speaking to me, and I instantly took him and made him mine. I opened my eyes and looked at the seaweed ring on my finger. I remember Cory promising that he'd buy me a real diamond ring when we were older. Those promises were faded now.. And never going to happen. A tear rolled down my cheek, and I quickly swiped it away before Kevin saw. Kevin never really understood the loss I had. I never told him about the seaweed ring on my finger. He thinks it's just something I made. In reality it's the only piece of Cory I have.

    Kevin put me down in front of my house. I opened the door. "May I please come in to?" He asked. I didn't have my parent's permission, but that didn't matter to me. They loved Kevin, and always liked him in the house. I think they liked him more than Cory. Maybe, that's because they caught Cory in my bed one time at 4:00am, and were instantly terrified.

    "Sure. You can come in." I said. A huge smile spread across Kevin's face. "Great!" He said. "After you." He said. I opened up the door, and walked into the house. "Now what shall we do, princess?" He asked. I glared at him for a second then realized that he hardly knows anything about Cory. Just that he was my boyfriend, and he died in a car crash. He doesn't know what he called me, where our first kiss was, anything. "I don't care what we do. You can pick." I said. "I'll be right back though. I'm going to change.." I said. I went up the long staircase, and changed into new bra and underwear and threw the wet and soggy one in the dryer. I threw on my clothes, and came back down. Kevin smiled. "You look so pretty." He said. I shrugged. "Not really." I said. "You do. You have such gorgeous hazel eyes, and pretty skin.. Plus, that beautiful hair.. And that gorgeous shaped body." He said. I gave him a fake smile because I've heard it all before, but I've heard it all from the one I love.. Who is now dead. "You can be a model." He said. "Nahhhh.." I said. "Models are way too pretty for someone like me." I said sadly plopping myself on the white colored couch. "You're prettier than any other model I've ever seen.." He said plopping himself next to me. He put his arm around me. "Wanna put on the TV?" He asked. "Sure.." I said. I grabbed the remote, and turned the TV on. "What channel?" I asked. "Anything you'd like. I know you like those reality TV shows, so put those on." He asked. I shrugged, and put one on. My whole life seemed like some dramatic reality TV show.

    Kevin kissed my cheek as we watched the show. He kissed it softly, and then kissed it again. I know he was trying to get my attention, and trying to make me turn my head around. I didn't want to. I wasn't in the mood at all, but I turned my head around, and he started kissing my lips. I kept my lips tight, but he managed to cram his tongue in my mouth. I kissed back with tongue not enjoying it the least bit. His tongue seemed to swim in my mouth hitting every area of it. I pulled away, and leaned back focusing my attention on the reality TV show. Kevin sighed. He didn't ask me what's wrong. This is what normally happened, but when I was deep into imaging he was Cory I did kiss back.