• My head throbbed as I sat up in Alexander's bed. Feeling the guilt I had been holding in almost all day yesterday get even worse. I sighed and ran my fingers through my hair.
    Alexander groaned, waking up.
    I looked back and saw his eyes squeezed shut. I swallowed and looked away, feeling myself get sick.
    Alexander's eyes opened and he reached out, taking my hand. "Is your head hurting?"
    I nodded and pulled my hand away. "Yeah."
    He looked away from me and his face seemed pained. "Would you like pain pills?"
    I nodded and covered my face with my hands. "Yeah."
    He sat up and sighed. "I'll get them for you, just wait here." He says flatly standing up then walking out of the room.
    I jumped up and grabbed my clothes, wanting to get out of here as quick as possible.
    Dear god! How could I have done that with him again!? Even after I remembered I was engaged! How could I have forgotten I was engaged in the first freakin' place!? What the hell is wrong with me!? I'm not some kind of man whore! So why am I doing this!? I panic sliding my boxers on quickly and then pulling my pants up. I should have never gone out for drinks with Alexander in the first place... This would have never happened if I had just said no and gone home to study for midterms coming up. But no, I had to go out and do something stupid.
    "S***!" I spit tripping over the corner of the bed and falling over.
    Alexander didn't come inside the room to envestigate the loud noise I had made, so I just got up and buttoned my pants and zipped them up. "Okay." I say grabbing my shirt that had been thrown on the desk chair.
    Just get out of here and go home, don't answer the door or the phone. Just don't do it. Ignore everyone I know till this whole thing has blown over.
    I slid my shirt over my stomach and ran to the door, proading my head out to see if Alexander was around. Seeing the shadow slick out from under the bathroom's door I realized I could easily get out without being noticed if I was quiet. I stepped out the bedroom door and quickly padded over to the door.
    Alexander came out of the bathroom and carried a clear crystal glass with his other hand holding my pain pills. He sighed and and looked down at his feet.
    I swallowed, praying he wouldn't see me.
    His eyes never came in my direction as he walked into the bedroom.
    I grabbed the door knob and threw the door open, running out.
    "Mirumi!" I hear Alexander call. I ignore the voice, I just keep running.
    My heart started to hurt as I heard my name being called again from behind me. The pain in the voice made my ears hurt and almost peirced my heart. I didn't want to hurt Alexander, which is exactly why I'm doing this. It would be better if I broke things off before they got even uglier. I mean, if he still loved me when I was married and settling down it would really cut deep into his heart. But my own heart hurt because of what I was doing to him, and how stupid I had been to sleep with a man... What the hell is wrong with me?
    Something warm and wet left an odd trail as it slid down my cheek.
    What the h***?
    I reach up, as I'm running, and press my finger tips to the wet liquid.
    Did something drip off the ceiling and land on me?
    I look down at my finger tips.
    Tears...
    I felt my legs ache and my lungs were burning. I stopped and looked down at the liquid in amazement. I was crying? Why?
    The last time I had ever cried was when a few years ago at one of my mom's friends funeral. But that only because he was the closest thing to a dad I had. Even though I didn't him that well. He would come over at times of the day and hang out with my mom. He told really fun stories and jokes that would get anyone to smile. He could get the dead to smile, I bet you.
    I swallowed and felt my nose start to run, I whiped the nose water away with the back of my hand. "Geez..." I say looking around to see if anyone was watching.
    There wasn't a soul, so I began walking again. Slowly I made my way to my dorm. Where I would stay till tommorow, when I would have to go to class.

    The whole rest of the day yesterday I spent studying and randomly starting to cry again.
    But it was morning on Monday now. I was in class, early, and waiting for the day to start.
    Sensie was in the front of the room and tapping a pencil on his table.
    I sighed and sat down.
    Sensie looked up and narrowed his eyes. "Mirumi?"
    I nodded, "Yes, sir?"
    He tilted his head back. "How has the whole situation with Alexander been?"
    I shrugged, swallowing and feeling sick. "Fine, I guess."
    He nodded slowly. "I see... Did he start crying again?"
    I nodded. "Just once. But I made him better again." I say feeling sicker.
    He smiled. "Good. I'm glad things are better for you two."
    Actually there worse, sensie. I think nodding and looking down at the table.
    The doors opened and someone walked in.
    "Ah, Alexander, we were just talking about you." Sensie says cheerfully.
    I jumped and spun around. "Alexander...?"
    He kept his eyes on the floor. "Yeah..."
    I looked at the floor too.
    Alexander walked past me and to his table.
    Sensie studied us and sighed. "Things haven't gotten better, huh?"
    Alexander and I shook our heads.
    Sensie growled and crossed his arms over his chest. "Is it because of the seme/uke thing? One of you couldn't decide who would be on top so you two are going at eachothers throats?"
    Both Alexander and I jumped and looked at each other. "No!" We say in unison.
    Sensie smiled. "Let me guess. There was a girl that came in the picture suddenly, right?"
    We looked down and nodded, in unison.
    He chuckled. "I see. Well, can the girl be pushed away?"
    Alexander looked at me.
    I shook my head. "We're engaged. And I could never hurt her by breaking it off because of my mistake."
    Sensie glared at me. "You were engaged? And you had an affair?"
    I sighed. "I forgot."
    "You forgot!?" Sensie shouted.
    I sank down.
    Sensie had never raised his voice like this, never. I had never seen him get this angry before. It was frightning.
    Alexander put his hands up. "Hold on, sensie. It's mostly my fault. I was the one that took him out drinking, it's my fualt. Please don't yell at him." Alexander pleaded.
    Sensie looked at him, his eyes softening. "Is that so?"
    He nodded.
    Sensie sighed. "Fine. But I want this to be delt with as soon as possible. I don't want my two best students failing because one of them was a dunce." He says glaring at me.
    I swallowed and sank even farther in my seat.
    Alexander looked at me and smirked.
    Sensie's gaze lightened and he seemed to go back to what was on his desk in front of him.
    I sighed and felt Alexander's eyes still on me. I couldn't help but look at him.
    He jumped and looked away.
    I looked away too and bit my lip.

    That day I was paired up with Alexander again as a partner.
    But we didn't talk much, we just did our work, finishing early, and then just sitting around, not talking.
    But I had felt his stare almost half the time. When I looked at him to prove to myself that he really was looking at me he would look away and his face would go red.
    But the day was over and we were all leaving to go home.
    "Mirumi." I hear someone call.
    I turned around and saw Alexander running after me. "Yeah?"
    He blushed and wrubbed the back of his neck. "Uhm... I still need to interveiw you for sensie."
    I sighed. "Oh yeah... I forgot about that... I can't do it today. I need to study. Sorry."
    He nodded and looked at the floor. "Oh... Okay. Well... Can I ask a question?"
    I nodded.
    Oh crap... What's the question?
    He looked into my eyes and suddenly seemed miserable.
    My heart started to hurt again.
    "Why did you run away when I left the room? I got worried when I didn't see you in the bed... And when I saw the door open and you running down the hall way I called for you. But you didn't seem to hear me." He says.
    I blushed. "Oh... I had something to do, and I just forgot." I lie.
    He nodded, believing it. "Did it have to do with Karin?" He says growing a stiff tone.
    I chuckled. "No. It had nothing to do with Karin."
    He smirked. "Good..."
    I patted his head. "You shouldn't worry about her so much."
    "Why not? She's still my enemy, isn't she?" He snarled.
    I laughed. "Yeah. But... Come on, she doesn't know that you hate her or anything. So play nice." I say smiling.
    He crossed his arms over his chest and glared off the corner of the room. "I don't wanna."
    I laughed again. "You are so adorable." I say outloud again.
    He blushed and looked at me. "You said it again."
    I jumped and covered my mouth. "S***."
    He smiled. "I know you like me, you just can't admit it."
    I bit my lip and felt my face get hot.
    He got on his tip toes and leaned into my face. "You should come over to my dorm again. I need you to help me... study." He whispered, slipping his lips over the back of my jaw.
    I swallowed and couldn't make myself push him away.
    He smiled and walked past me. "See you then, Mirumi."
    I let the breath I had been holding, out. "God..."