• Dear santa-mod,

    I know I shouldnt have lit the fire in the chimney last year, but I really wanted smores. Dont worry I made some for you too. Unfortunatly since you got burned and din visit the doggy ate um. This year I ask for a fire distinguisher, zippo, and mace.... dont worry, it is only for experimental use ^.^. Im not like poppa who had asked for a gun to ward off my potential boyfriends. Which you gratefully gave him. Im thankful you have preserved my childhood for another 10 years by doing so. Also I'd like to add mommy would like some tazers, with plenty of batteries. She says its because daddies been bad and has been seeing these differant strange woman, one of which looked like your wife... Mrs. Clause... But this time a year I doubt it was her and maybe just some old lady. Also, mommy wishes for a muzzle for daddy, because he likes to bite other womens necks.... mommy tells me he's a vampire. Which would lead to my second personal wish... I think... I'll be needing a few wooden stakes. So if your elves can make them so that they are REALLY sharp id appreciate it. Promise there will be no fire this year!

    Rayse