• I slowed my breathing as I walked off of the patio and onto the crisp morning grass. It was hard to be in the same place they had once been. Their memory still haunted my dreams and my reality. Shadows would pass along walls of slightly chipping white paint. I manuvered along a short path that led to the lake nearby. The scars of my past, and of theirs, stretched alongside my ribs and deep into my heart. The worst part of all was knowing I could have stopped it. By succumbing to fear, my family of friends was no more. The reality was harsh. They were taken and I was not.

    As I reached the lakefront, I took a deep breath and waded into the water. The water was surprisingly cold, like a bottle of water left outside and rcovered the next morning. I striggled tokeep my breath even as I reached the area where my feet would no longer touch the sandy lake bottom. I let go of the breath I held in my lungs and ceased the movement of all my limbs. It was time to atone. I began to sink.