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The Immortal
By Liera Antionette
Prologue
“Wh-What do you want with us now!? Haven’t you already taken enough from this family?!” A woman stood in the corner of her kitchen while clutching her two small children close. She was shaking from fear and anger as the man dressed in all black stood before her. His hair was as dark as a raven’s feathers and was so long that it covered his face until only a sliver of his left amethyst eye was visible and nothing more.
He slowly raised his hand to point at the woman and the action made her flinch. “M-me? You want to take me away from my babies as well?! You’ve already taken my husband and now you wish to kill me?! Stay away from me, you monster! Stay the hell away from my family!” The children were crying and the woman was hysterical now.
The man seemed to shrink back from her voice as he shook his head sadly. He lifted his hands to his face to move all the hair away so the family could look at the pitiful man who robbed them of their father and husband.
“…I’m sorry…” His voice was but a whisper, laced with such turmoil that the woman didn’t pay any heed to. His hair felll gracefully back around his face as he slowly turned to leave.
“Sorry? You’re sorry!? Sorry isn’t going to erase the pain you caused us! Sorry isn’t going to bring back my husband! Monster! I hope you burn in the deepest pits of all seven hells for what you’ve done!”
His shoulders fell as he left the small house and walked back into the welcoming darkness that seemed to haunt him no matter where he went. He has taken so many lives and has slaughtered so many innocents that he was forever doomed to walk alone until eternity’s end.
Cursed with the sins of his past, his immortal soul is doomed to be tormented until someone can ease his suffering…
TBC
- by Liera Antionette |
- Fiction
- | Submitted on 02/27/2009 |
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- Title: The Immortal
- Artist: Liera Antionette
- Description: This is just the prologue to an original that I am working on...I wanted to post it up to see how people responded it to . Well...Please don't be too harsh...I'm just a beginner here! -_-' Please leave a comment and tell me what you think! ^^ If you like then I shall try and continue it and if not well...I tried. Thank you fellow gaians...
- Date: 02/27/2009
- Tags: immortal
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Comments (7 Comments)
- PhoenixDragonex2 - 02/28/2009
- it is actually quite good. I can not wait to read the whole story. Keep it up, I need a follow of this prologue and soon.
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- Tyrious - 02/28/2009
- Im just hoping its not another vampire, zombie or werewolf story. You're one of the best writers i know and this fully shows that. Lets think outside the box.
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- Valkenhayn - 02/27/2009
- Its a nice start now all i need to know is what happens next rofl
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- Olive_the_Monkey_Ninja - 02/27/2009
- The title itself is making me wonder what is going to happen. Such a dark prologue; it really sets the mood for the future of the book. Nicely done. I want to know what the man did! xD
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- Psionu - 02/27/2009
- LLLLOOOVVVEEEE IT
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- Hero lV - 02/27/2009
- Oh! By the way, my older sister loves it as well. Very good job!
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- Hero lV - 02/27/2009
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i think it's really good! and coming from me, that's a huge compliment, because i've won many writer's awards and am getting three books published as of june 3rd=)
i say 10/10, and I hope to see some more soon! - Report As Spam