Legend of the Ancient War Ch.1

• Artist: RuroneDevil
• Description: ok, Time for the story behind my avatars as RuroniDevil this will tell what happenned to Zack and Zek as kids
  
  new chapters every week or whenever i feel like it
• Date: 02/26/2009
• Tags: legend ancient

It was 12:30. Zack was playing with his baby brother, Zek, while waiting for their mom to finish laundry, so they could have lunch. Zack was about 9, while Zek was 4. They used to have a dad, until he was called to the army to fight in the war against the Demon World. they hadn't heard from him ever since. Their mom was finished with the laundry, so they all went inside for lunch.

Just as they were inside, the floor rumbled. The sky turned red. Outside, the dark figure was forming out of the shadows. "Ahhhh.... This relam will be perfect for my new home"

To Be Continued....

Comments

[RuroneDevil]

well tryin to rush and submit this before bedtime can do that to you : /

[The Real Batman Stands Up]

Could use some work. Seems rushed and choppy.

[RuroneDevil]

ok lemme get 1 thing straight,
Im tryin to tell a story of my game ok?
Im not Anthony Horowitz, so just sit back enjoy the ride, and if you don't like it your not payin for friggen Gaia

[DJ-Hammi]

o_o;;;;;

[RuroneDevil]

ya lost me after a whole lot of work

[YuzoraRyuu]

Well, it needs a whole lot of work. The plot seems interesting but I do believe there is a better way of building suspense. There isn't much of that. Also I think you should've withheld a little bit more information about them and given more detail about what exactly is gong on.