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“Do it Athene! Do it! NOW!” Robert yelled at her. He was on the floor in front of her, strapped to the ground with vines, which were continually growing longer, thicker, stronger.
Tears streamed down Athene’s face. “I can’t do it. I can’t do it, Robert,” she whispered. In her outstretched hands, she held the end to all this madness: the heart of the well.
Then, she heard a loud screech from behind her. She turned around to see the Queen of Ruggard, Lucille, standing a foot away from her. In her hand, she held a long rusted sword. Her black eyes blazed with fury under her wild orange hair.
“Athene, he has gone crazy,” she said. “We must kill him now.”
Athene looked at Robert’s usually clean, white face, which was now covered in dirt. His black hair, usually cut short, was down past his ears, in a scrambled mess. She thought of everything they had gone through to get here, to save the Land of Wishing. But then she had been presented with a choice: join Lucille and her quest to take over the Land of Wishing, or to do what she came here to do, and destroy her and the Well’s heart. With Athene’s help, she and Lucille would be unstoppable, but could she trust her? And then there was Destiny’s prophecy, that she would be faced with a choice, that would get everything she wanted. Did that mean that she could trust Lucille? But then there was Lucille’s power, that she could not be seen in Destiny’s visions, and she could change them.
As Athene thought this through, Robert struggled on the floor in front of her, the vines getting tighter by the second.
“Please, Athene, you weren’t meant to do this.” Robert gasped as the vines suddenly squeezed tighter around him.
Lucille grabbed her arm, and whipped Athene around so she was just inches from her face. “Listen to me, Athene. Kill him, and join me, or be killed. It’s an easy choice. Just choose the right one.”
Lucille let her go, and Athene turned around to face Robert. She must make her choice now. And it wasn’t going to be easy.
- by PR1NC3SS T1G3R |
- Fiction
- | Submitted on 02/07/2009 |
- Skip
- Title: The Discovery: Prologue
- Artist: PR1NC3SS T1G3R
- Description: This is the prologue to a story I am writing. Please comment and let me know if there are any errors or something that doesn't sound right. Constructive critism is appreciated! Be harsh, or honest. Just let me know what you think :)
- Date: 02/07/2009
- Tags: discovery prologue
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Comments (6 Comments)
- Cl3v3rRey - 04/11/2009
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Huh?
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- Ellen Roth - 02/14/2009
- I like how you pose lots of questions so the reader can grasp the severity of the situation. Many prologues don't leave the reader wondering anything but you do exactly that with style, grace, and intensity. This story is going to be great. HVD
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- LostOf Leberai - 02/09/2009
- Very good. You have a unique way of drawing people in. There are no grammarical errors, and you can spell! It has been a long time since I have come acrossed someone who could write properly. 5/5 I would really like to read more from you.
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- Sally Something - 02/08/2009
- You've sucked me in. Now I must know what the choice is.
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- Princess-of-the-Spirits - 02/07/2009
- omg! you've got to publish this! i've got to know athene's choice now! please publish it!
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- FAIRY2536 - 02/07/2009
- coooool; better than the poetry category as a whole by far. I think people are melodramatic here on gaia neutral annoying.
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