• =Stand up straight!
    Chew with your mouth closed!
    Say excuse me!
    Don't do that!
    Do this, not that!
    Always be polite!
    +Oh, whatever!! Who cares if I play in the dirt once in a while? Who cares if I act like a kid!??!
    =What did you say?! Don't you mouth off to me!!! scream mad
    +*thinking alone* is the only safe place for me, where I can just be me.
    +Can I go hang out with my friends?
    =No! You have to do your homework!
    +How about this weekend? I promise I'll finish it all?
    =No! Your grades will slip! Remember how bad they were before? Life isn't always a walk in the park, you know. You have to work to get ahead in life.
    +So what?! I not only have to change myself, but I also have to live life without friends?! But I won't say it, because they won't understand.
    +I can be wierd and unique and do whatever I want as long as it's not with people...
    I don't have to be this perfect little pleasant polite kind graceful princess...with so many expectations.
    I've actually grown a newfound sorrow for royalty, now that I know how they feel sometimes, possibly all the time...
    High expectations, no privacy, always being watched like you're some kind of criminal, and the few chances you do get alone, you're actually happy for...
    Happy that your alone...
    Happy but lonely...
    that's messed up
    +After a while, you figure out how to cheat it. Hang out with friends at school. But then slowly, you realize that not even that is possible. Because you're supposed to work in class, not talk...
    And I figure my friends have a life outside of school. They would probably like some free time at home with their family. I also begin to realize that when you talk in class, the teachers scold you, and over time, your friends actually get irritated with you.
    And I realize it's not their fault that I'm in this horrible predicament. So I just try to help them so that at least their lives are good. I suck it up and be that nice, caring, fun, and optimistic girl they love so much.
    Suck it up! Suck it up! No! I'm sick of it! I want to talk to people, I want to feel like I belong and not just feel like a saintly angel helping everyone around her except herself. I want friends, and support, and love. That's all I need. And yet exactly what I won't get...
    I begin to get feelings which I don't welcome and yet do...
    I hate you, I hate everyone! Why won't someone see that I'm in pain!,
    I scream silently.
    And then I realize...it's because I hide it for the sake of my friends and loved ones. They can't help me, so why bother? Why make them just worry? It won't help. It'll make me feel like I'm part of the group, but is it really worth it? Considering the cost? Making my friends worry about me constantly? No.
    But still, I have this selfish desire to call out, to get help, and then I'm brought back down to earth and remember it'll only hurt them.
    And all the time, my soul is slowly being sucked out of my body, it feels.
    Willl I be trapped in this prison forever?!
    Seems like it....
    After a while it seems like you've just given up and stopped asking, although the longing remains.
    You just break down completely and go numb. You quit. Too much pain...can't take it anymore, so you just block all emotion out.
    Don't let it in, it'll only hurt more...
    They say life without friends is like a flower without the sun....
    If that's true, then I guess I'm nothing but a lonely flower.
    All the other flowers grow in the garden receiving love and growing quite well knowing no pain, no suffering, because they have each other.
    Meanwhile, the lone flower, barely getting by, braves the cold dry lightless world all by itself...
    Ever lonely, ever apart from the others.