• Emma



    Hard to say exactly when I started feeling this way about him, but I know that the first time I saw him, I wanted him.





    First day of my freshman year I had walked into the large building, nervous and excited just like the rest of the first years. I didn't take two steps inside the door before I made my first big mistake and my greatest achievement: Laying eyes on Simon Valentine. When I saw him for the first time, he wasn't doing anything at all special, just staring at the wall where papers were posted to help students find their classrooms. Nothing special, just, you know... living. That was all it took to have me loose my peripheral vision and run into someone, causing me to stumble back into someone else who in turn pushed me away from them which then resulted in me falling flat on my face. Who is the crazy freshman girl that just made a fool of herself in front of everyone and Simon Valentine her first day? Her name is Emmalene Anabelle Hampton.

    The rest of the first day was pretty much the same. I went to my first classes and in some I recognized people and in others I was totally alone. At the time, I didn't even know his name; just that he had the godly ability to take my breath away. In my third period, Economics, I was lucky enough to have my best friends Kitty and Lydia in there along with me. I started to tell them about my wretched morning to find that they already had heard about it. Hm... Welcome to high school, where news travels fast. I told them about the reason which started the chain and they both giggled like mad. It turns out that every girl in high school had a crush on Simon Valentine and that I was joining his conforming group of fan girls. Of course I would have no chance if that were true, considering I wasn't really special to look at or anything...

    Just as best friends usually do, they made a rather horrible start of the day into one that looked slightly hopeful. When it came time to go to fourth period, I left with a smile in my eyes, a laugh on my lips and a promise to be at Lydia's house right after school.

    So you can see how off guard I was when I went to my locker to see Simon Valentine leaning right up against it, looking as attractive, if not to the power of 27 more, than this morning. Like a deer caught in the headlights, I stopped dead in the hall again and stared. What to do? What's he doing there? How do I get my books? Is he looking this way? Is he waiting for me? Why is he so gorgeous?! My brain almost exploded with questions and then I thought my heart would also explode when I saw the jaded green eyes look straight at me... straight into my own light blue ones. Now see that this is when the deer caught in the headlights freaks out and gets ran over by the car... and in this case, a 500lbs girl with a scowl. For the second time today, I was knocked down right in front of Simon Valentine.

    "Get out of my way, freshman." said the burly female before stepping on my backpack and walking away. No one really seemed to notice the girl sprawled out in the middle of the hallway as they made their own way to class and the few that did just laughed at her misfortune and carried on.

    I got up, wincing for having to straighten the bruised spine and looked around for my bag. Where was it? Did someone kick it?!

    "Here," came the most beautiful sound that I had ever heard in my life.

    Turning around quickly, there he was. A bored expression on his face and dark brown hair framing it like a portrait, he was holding out my bag for me to take. He raised an eyebrow when I didn't take it from him, but yet stared as if he had grown three and a half heads...

    "Want it or not...?" he asked, raising the bag to eye level.

    God had mercy on me and my heart and brain both stayed intact and he even made sure I had some sense left. "Oh, umm, yes, t-thank you." I reached out and took my bag from him and he dropped his arm back to his side. I continued to stare with my mouth open but he didn't seem to notice. It was probably something that he was used too…

    "That's twice today... You’re clumsy." he stated and walked straight passed me, his scent implanted in my memory. Like crushed pine needles and a car garage.

    It was then that the bell rang and I was late for my fourth period. I didn't see him for the rest of the day.

    Later that evening, I recounted my meeting with Simon to Kitty and Lydia, who both laughed at my misfortune, just as everyone seemed to these days.

    "Some friends that you two are," I glared at them, one rolling around on the floor, and the other hanging off the bed in danger of falling off.

    "We're sorry Emma, but--" Kitty started laughing again.

    "That's just SO FUNNY!" Lydia finished for her and commenced to laughing still.

    I sighed and decided that it was useless to try and say anything else with them in the state they were in and flipped through the channels until their laughing had stopped. Eventually, they both had worn themselves out from acting out her story and laughing so much and joined her. The rest of the evening they talked about their first high school experience and shared their thoughts on the teachers, the lunch, certain boys, not including Simon for her own sake, and etc…

    ~*~

    The following morning, I awoke with a brighter attitude than that of the previous morning. My night had been filled with pleasant dreams, most of them were of Simon, and I was determined to have a better day today than that of confusing yesterdays.

    Still had to look casual for the second day, of course, so I dressed in normal skinny blue-jeans and a regular t-shirt with old school Converse. The first bad sign of the day was my hair. I straightened it to the best of my ability but it was raining outside and that meant that there was no way in hell it was going to stay straight. Damn the moisture… With a sigh, I brushed it out again and turned away from the mirror with a damper in my mood already and walked out of my room and into the kitchen.

    “’Morning Emma, you look pretty.” My mother complimented and took a sip of her coffee. “But you always do. So…” she shrugged and I rolled my eyes heavenward good naturedly and smiled at her.

    “Thanks, but why are you here so early?” I asked, grabbing a banana off of the counter and setting at the table. Mom worked the nightshift at the hospital as a nurse from 7-7. It was definitely hard on her but she said that she didn’t mind. It was one of those ‘You have to have better than I did deals’ for her and no amount of my complaining about her slowing down seemed to be effecting her any.

    “Nice to see you too,” She glared slightly and took another sip of her coffee. She was a coffee freak so she drank it at all times, even when she was just about to go to sleep which didn’t really make any sense to me… “Lisa said that she would cover the rest of the hour for me so that I could take you to school this morning. I felt bad for not taking you yesterday.”

    Another one of those ‘I told myself that my kid would never have to ride those nasty buses…’ guilt’s she was going through, my silly mother, caring as much as possible and feeling bad about not doing it more.

    “Thanks mommy.” I got up to hug her and she hugged me back while taking yet another sip of her coffee.

    “Are you finished getting ready?”

    “Mhm, come on!” I twirled away from her happily and grabbed my jacket on my way out of the kitchen. She soon followed and we drove the short way to my new school.

    I ventured past the front door using supreme caution as I watched where I was going to be sure not to trip, fall or bump into anyone. I could see that Simon wasn’t anywhere around so if a repeat from yesterday were to happen then it wouldn’t be as bad, although the morning incident probably wouldn’t have happened at all if I hadn’t saw him to begin with.

    Just as I had hoped for, the rest of the morning was coming along pretty well. Nothing too embarrassing or abnormal, passed the fact that I still didn’t know my way well and often got lost in the over crowded school. Yep, things were going great today. Besides the fact that I still hadn’t seen Simon, everything was going great, I should say. Confession: Major crush on the guy, even though it is based solely on looks. Hey, he probably was a really great person! Maybe…

    After third period, I left with an even more optimistic view on my day seeing as I was going to finish it by coming home from Kitty’s. I went straight to my locker, noting the glare from the burly female that had ran over me yesterday, but choosing to ignore it for fear of her negativity rubbing off on my wonderful mood.

    “Hey.”

    Eep! Startled, I dropped my math book and folder which just so happened to land on my toes. “Ow!” I yelped and jumped back, glaring at the things that should return to being trees… then I noticed Simon.

    Leaning against the locker that was next to mine, his eyebrow raised in amusement and a playful smirk on his lips, he looked more like a god than anyone had the right to.

    All I could do was stare. I did it again. I’ve made a fool of myself again in front of him! I wanted to turn and run and find my mommy and hide with her and cry until I died. I wanted to erase his memory of all these stupid moments of my clumsiness and disappear. This was SO terrible. I could feel the tears come to my eyes.

    He must have seen them too.

    First, he blinked several times, looking confused. Something seemed to dawn on him and he picked up my books and walked over to me. By this time, I was covering my face, multitasking between hiding my tears and trying to disappear.

    “Yeah, hurts when stuff falls on my toes too.” He agreed and wrapped his free arm around my shoulder, pulling my face to his chest to comfort.

    That stopped pretty much all self pity circling in my head. The only thing my mind comprehended at the time was the small circles that Simon was applying to my back to sooth me. Oh my God. Oh my God. Oh my God.

    Oh my God. Oh my God. Oh my God.

    Considering I had stopped breathing, as did my previous sobbing. So, not hearing my crying any longer, Simon must have assumed that I was now comforted enough to pull away from. If I had known that was going to happen, I might have continued bawling like a big baby for as long as he’d hold me. Pathetic, I know.

    “You okay now?” he asked, leaving his free hand on the small of my back and peering down at me.

    I couldn’t help it. I know I must have looked a sight with all the tears and smeared make-up and what not, but I wanted to see his beautiful, perfect face. I looked up at him, tears still glistening in my eyes and smearing black down my cheeks. He continued to look down at me, awaiting some kind of response. Finally, I realized I was staring again nodded, looking down at my feet to hide my blush.

    I missed the warmth of his hand when he removed it from my back and stepped around to stand in front of me. It was as though that part of my back would always be cold, always cold unless his hand was right there.

    He held out my books for me and I took them, hugging them to my chest, still trying to hide the blush that I was afraid would turn permanent from the force that it was burning. “T-thank you,” I managed to stutter out.

    “Yeah, no problem,” he waved his hand and leaned against the locker beside mine, crossing his arms in front of him.

    I looked up again and saw him leaning there, watching me. I didn’t know what to do. Should I leave? Should I say something else? Does he want me to leave? Does he want me to say something else? My head was starting to hurt…

    Simon continued to watch me as I squirmed with indecision beneath his emerald gaze. Finally, he raised his eyebrow and glanced up and down the hallway. “So… are you going to class or…?”

    I almost jumped and dropped my books again. How many times can I embarrass myself in front of this boy? I had been just standing there doing nothing when of course I had bothered him enough and he wanted nothing else to do with me, leaving me free to go to class and yet I just stood there like a stupid, dummy, freak.

    I ran.

    I turned around and ran down the hall with tears rolling down my cheeks the entire way. Why was I so stupid? Why was I so un-cool? Why?!

    I skipped my first class on the second day of school. I ran into the girl’s restroom and ignored the few straggler girls in there and ran into a stall, slamming the door and locking it. Without care for my personal health at the moment, I flopped down on the toilet seat and put my face in my hands and cried. There went my day…

    ~*~

    I got in trouble for skipping. You can only imagine how terrified I was when an authoritative sounding voice said my name outside of the stall I was occupying. I came out, and there stood the detention lady, taping her red heels against the grey tile of the restroom floor and no sympathy on her face in the least. She took me to the main principal and said she found me smoking. Appalled, I started defending myself to the best of my ability but it turned out to be futile.

    Apparently they were watching early on for freshmen that would try and skip so that they could catch them and make them ‘redeem their ways’ or something like that. My mother was so mad. She screamed and cried and pretty much went ballistic. She blamed me, then herself, then the school system, then me and then the President of the United States. It would have been funny to watch if I wasn’t still trying to disappear for the same reason as before and with the new weight of after school detention and being grounded for an eternity…

    I went back to class and went through the rest of my day in a zombie-like trance. I knew that if I tried to explain things to my mom, she would understand them, but then again, I didn’t really want her to know about how stupid I was. I didn’t want anyone to know. Even I was trying my best to forget about it. I wanted Simon Valentine to forget I existed and everything to return to normal.

    On the bus I told my friends what had happened, changing the story only slightly to make me look less stupid. They expressed their grief for me and tried to give me the morale to go in and face my mom.

    Once off the bus, I stared at the walkway that led up to my porch and the door… and my mother. I looked left and right, thinking seriously about running. Where? Well… I wasn’t too sure about that at the moment. With a long sigh, I made the steps that would lead me to my mother. I hesitated at the door with my arm outstretched toward the knob. All I could think about was what I was going to say to her. I looked behind me, rethinking my plan on leaving. Before I got that far, the front door was swung open and there stood my mother, clad in her Snoopy pajama bottoms and camouflage t-shirt, glaring down at me with all the disappointment she could muster. I sighed again.

    “Emmalene Anabelle Hampton… you get in this house right now, and start talking.” Her voice was hoarse, like she’d been crying.

    In the end I told her everything. It was my mother, my mommy, so after all sorts of planning and making up a story to make me look less stupid, I took one look at her and spilled it. I told her about falling the first day, about getting knocked down by the fat girl, all the times that I had made a fool of myself in front of Simon. I told her about standing there like a fool and running to the bathroom and crying. She listened the entire time and held me when I cried. When all was told and my tears had stopped their flow I heard her laugh. At first I was appalled. Setting up, I looked at her hurt. “What?”

    Mom smiled at me, tears in her eyes as well. “I just miss being young. I miss when not finding a date to a dance was the biggest problem I thought I would ever face. Emma, baby, it’s really not that big of a deal sweetheart. No, I know that you feel silly and stupid and all of that, but it’s really nothing. Trust me, I’m been alive a lot longer than you have and these things I know.”

    “But mom it was so awful! I mean, he’s got to be the most perfect male in all existence. A junior too, and there I stood a stupid freshmen. I felt like such a cry-baby. I mean, and it wasn’t just that! Perhaps I wouldn’t feel as dumb if I hadn’t already looked like an imbecile in front of him so many times before that.” I fell backward on the couch and covered my face with my hands.

    She laughed again and took my hands from my face and pulled me back up into a sitting position, stroking my hair and placing it behind my ears. “You’re going to get embarrassed your entire life, I hate to tell you. Besides, it’s just a boy, no matter how ‘gorgeous’ he is, Emma. And if you ask me, I think he likes you.” She gave an all knowing smirk and leaned over and got her coffee cup from the correctly titled coffee table.

    I rolled my eyes heavenward. “Now, you are officially insane and I know that you haven’t been listening to a thing I’ve said this whole time.”

    “No really!” she sat her coffee back down. “I mean, think about it Emma. Okay, so he actually makes a point to come to your locker twice, right? He must want to talk to you or at least see you.”

    I scoffed. “You’re ridiculous mother!” Even as I prepared to deny, her words had already set off a calmer form of the fire butterflies. “He probably has a locker near mine or something. Or maybe he was waiting for his friends or girlfriend or something. You don’t understand how good looking this boy is mom, he’s outrageously beautiful, way out of my league.” I looked away.

    For a moment neither of us spoke and the neighbor’s dog could be heard barking from across the street. Then she placed her hand on the side of my face and made me look at her. She stared at me for a second and then gave a loving smile. “Emmy, you don’t see yourself as everyone else does, as I do. It’s practically killing me having to watch you grow up from my little baby to a beautiful young lady. I walk into a store with you and see all kinds of heads turn and boys point and I want to chase them all. Everyone tells me how pretty my daughter is. You’re stunning Emma, your looks and your mind and I don’t care attractive this boy is, he’ll never be good enough for you, no one will.”

    We hugged for a long time after that and I felt so much better. I honestly wouldn’t know what I would do without my mom.

    “Okay, since all of that’s over with, why don’t you tell me just how cute this Simon Valentine is.” She smirked.

    With a giggle, I launched into a long description and discussion of the boy I knew hardly anything about.

    ~*~

    Mom took the morning off to go talk to my principals about everything. She promised not to tell everything, just enough to let them know that I hadn’t done anything terribly wrong.

    Having mom go into the school building with me gave me the courage to actually do just that. I looked back at her, not wanting to leave her. I hugged her about twenty-times before I knew I finally had to go.

    The hall ways were full of students hanging out before their first classes started, all crowded together but yet each in their own little group. I was fortunate enough to make my way unharmed to my friends who were standing beside the stairs. After shared greetings I ended their curiosity about last night’s events and that mom was here fixing things with the principals.

    Soon enough the bell rang and to the lockers and class we all went. To be honest, I still felt like hiding from everyone and staying as much to myself as I could. I didn’t feel like socializing with everyone. I was disheartened and yet I peered around every corner hoping for a glimpse of Simon.

    I didn’t see him until before second period.

    I was walking to my second period class straight after my first. I had carried my second period books with me so that I didn’t have to go to my locker and talk to Kitty and Lydia or anyone else. For once that day I wasn’t looking for him and then I found him. The problem was though, he was putting books into a locker near my classroom door and we would have to walk by one another.

    I took a big breath, closing my eyes to calm myself down. I could do this. All I had to do was walk by him, pretending that everything is fine. I’m just going to class, right? Yeah… just going to class…

    I opened my eyes to see him walking in my direction. He smiled down at me as he passed and I was hit in the face with the smell of crushed pine needles and a car garage.

    “Hey, you okay kid?” an unfamiliar voice.

    Hearing voices, I opened my eyes to find myself lying in the middle of the hallway with people hoarded around me.

    “Back up and give her some room.” A very familiar voice.

    My eyes met his again. Simon was holding my head off the floor and looking down at me with concern in his pretty green eyes.

    I… Did. Not. Faint…

    “I’ll go get a teacher!” a fat boy with a Superman shirt on ran off.

    I give up. I give up existing…

    I looked away from him and tried to sit up but the pain in my head zapped any strength I had left causing me to fall back. Simon caught me though.

    “Whoa, hold on. You hit your head pretty hard. Take it easy for a minute. How many fingers am I holding up?” he held up four stunning fingers.

    “F-four…” I muttered.

    “Hm… It was two actually…”

    I hate myself…

    “Okay, everyone get to class. Go on. Get out of the halls before I call Principal Roark. Valentine, what happened here?” It was my English teacher, Mrs. Stewart. “Emma? Are you alright?!” She bent down on the other side of me.

    “Emma…” I heard Simon mutter my name under his breath, looking down at me as he done so.

    I just tried my best to keep my brains inside my head.

    “Emma, have you eaten anything this morning?” Mrs. Stewart asked.

    “No.” I managed.

    “Okay, let’s get you to the nurse then. Can you stand?” She stood up and offered her hand to me.

    I took it and she pulled me up while Simon helped. I swayed on my feet, threatening to fall once again but Simon held me steady by my waist and Mrs. Stewart by my arms. I was well aware of Simon’s hands though.

    “Valentine, you get to class now. Thank you for your help.” I didn’t know whether to kiss Mrs. Stewart or punch her in the face.

    When I got to the nurse, a nice, friendly lady with short red, curly hair and perfect teeth, I was already feeling better. She had me set on the seat thing with the crinkly paper that I never really could figure out what its purpose was, the crinkly paper that is. She checked my temperature, my weight and my sugar, all of which was normal. Then she started asking me questions about my period and my diet and if I was depressed or on any medication. I answered her questions and she diagnosed me with not sleeping enough and being close to my period.

    I couldn’t tell her that I had my own theory, Simon’s smile.

    Just to make sure that I wouldn’t go passing out again the nurse had me eat some crackers a lay down. The room was white like a hospital; sterile and clean with motivational posters about using protection and washing your hands after peeing. After I was sure I had read every poster in the room I turned over on my side and tried not to think of Simon. I think I might have been trying to reconcile the fact that I was forever to be un-cool and stupid and there wasn’t anything I could do about it so I should just go join the band or math club or something and find friends more my style.

    Mrs. Gambrel, the nurse, woke me up and told me that she had let me sleep for two class periods but that I ought to go to lunch and then back to class. I was grateful to her for the time she allowed me to stay in there and not face anyone. It was the third day of school and I was already missing too much of my classes but I didn’t really care. I didn’t want to care about anything.

    For some reason she gave me cough drops before I left. I shoved them in my pocket and gathered my books that Simon was so kind enough to pick up out of the floor. I walked out of the Nurses office and sighed. Now I had to go to lunch and tell everyone that I was fine and blah, blah, blah.

    “Better now?”

    My head snapped up to see Simon waiting against the wall across from the Nurse’s Office. This morning he had decided on wearing a blue, button-up plaid shirt and a light pair of blue jeans that looked to have once dated a chainsaw. At some point since I last looked at him in the hallway, he had decided to put a toothed hair-brace through his hair, showing his forehead and his ears which I noticed for the first time were pierced in several different spots. His brow rose when I didn’t say anything. I couldn’t do anything at all actually; too afraid I would look stupid.

    He looked left and then right like he was crossing a road and came toward me. “Emma?” he questioned.

    I gasped and I my eyes widened in shock. I became the deer caught in the headlights again and I prayed that the burly female wouldn’t come out of no where and plow me down like before.

    He stopped in front of me and tilted his head to the side, studying. I gulped.

    “You look scared to death…” he smirked. “It’s cute.”

    I think I would have been announced legally dead if examined. My heart stopped. It was too embarrassing. The part in my brain that allowed me to control my body parts started functioning once again and I looked down, the massive blush threatening to burn me from the inside out. I wonder if you can get burns from blushing. There was a silence and I wondered if he left though I wasn’t about to chance a peek.

    “So… are you going to talk?” he asked.

    I shook my head. Better to be rude than stupid, right?

    “So you aren’t going to talk?”

    I shook my head again.

    “Hm… okay… Can I ask why?”

    “Because I’ll just sound stupid,” I blurted out before I could think. Ah, precisely the reason I wasn’t going to say anything.

    Another silence and I could hear my heartbeat start again, a pounding drum in both my ears. I thought about running. Running away from him again and escape the awkward situation. Okay. It was decided. I was going to run away. Let us just hope that I don’t fall down in the midst.

    Just as I turned to dart off, Simon grabbed the wrist of my free hand and pulled me back. Startled, I looked up at him, tears in my eyes still. We stared at each other after he did that. I was mesmerized by him. What did he want?

    “I wish you’d stop running away from me. Do you hate me that much?” his brow furrowed but he kept his grip on my wrist.

    “No!” I practically shouted without thinking. I was looking up at him desperately, wanting him to understand but having no words to say.

    “Then why?”

    “I just— Uhm… It’s just that—“

    “I like you… Emma.”