• Snow fluttered down to the ground as children and teens alike scurried to their Christmas trees to unwrap their long awaited presents.


    Jin was riding the very mildly populated bus, a white winter hat drooped over his eyes as to not reveal his identity as the unofficial leader of AT-TUN, the popular 5 member group. He held a manga book, which made the pinky ring on the pinky of his right hand visible. The manga's front cover read 'Touch' in big, blocky black font. Jin'd grown fond one of the twins, Kazuya Uesugi. He didn't know why, but the mere name was appealing to him. It seemed ironic to him that he prefered Kazuya rather than the other twin, Tatsuya for a bandmate was named Tatsuya and coincidentally, it was from the manga Touch.


    The bus stopped with a bounce and Jin looked up to see he'd gotten to his stop. He squeezed past the crowd and stepped off the bus, indulging himself in the fresh air offered to him. He scurried to the Johnny's Jimusho and up the elevator in no time and soon found himself in front of AT-TUN's dressing room.


    He turned the knob and swung the door open, sporting a grin. He walked in, took his hat off and shook it, the snow falling off delicately from the hat as a result. “Yo guys,” Jin said after his task.


    Murmurs were heard as a response but nothing more. Jin pouted childishly, but in the inside, his heart fell. Jin was always one that craved for attention or perhaps just mere affection or at least something that showed him he was acknowledged. All he really wanted from his bandmates was to acknowledge him and perhaps come to befriend him. It was not as though he wasn't used to it, it was just he was always expecting some break-through in his relationship with his bandmates. However, it was evident now that all they will ever be is bandmates and nothing more.


    But –


    It wasn't always like this. There was a time when everyone was happy and their friendship was sky-high. Jin remembered.


    - - -


    Jin brought out his lunch from his bag, grinning as he knew everyone would be jealous. Mocking cockiness, he held his head high and brought his bentou to everyone at the table. He sat down and he threw away his cocky attitude and replaced it with a wide grin on his face.


    Jin looked around and saw the other 4 members' expecting faces and he slowly took the lid off the bentou.


    “Uwaaa~” said all the members.


    Jin grinned as he saw his luxurious lunch – 3 riceballs; all his favourite trinkets inside, rice, fried chicken, beans, and a few takoyaki. The best of all, it was still piping hot as if just cooked.


    “Jiiiinnn,” the members groaned, “share!”


    Jin shook his head and playfully grabbed his bentou. “It's mine,” he said with a smirk.


    The others whined pitifully before retreating to get their own lunches.


    “Haha, I've got a better lunch than you Bakanishi,” a voice broke out.


    - - -


    And that was where Jin couldn't remember any more. The voice... who it belonged to, he hadn't got any recollection of his appearance. Every time he attempted to recollect, he was only given a hazy figure whose identity could not be recalled, no matter how long or hard Jin tried.


    Jin snapped out of his thoughts when the manager walked in and told them that it was their lunch break. Gratefully, all the members stopped their work and scurried off on their own, leaving Jin alone... again. Jin's forlorn figure stalked to his bag and pulled out his bentou.


    He looked around the empty room and decided he'd go out to the garden to eat instead.


    Jin hurried out the door and down the elevator. Instead of walking out the exit, he turned into a corner and in front of locked door, which he so happens to have the key to, and entered the bright and airy garden.


    Jin walked down the garden, looking around at the peaceful area. He squeaked suddenly when he bumped into a small sakura tree, emerging from the ground in the middle of the garden. I don't come here for 3 months and they plant a tree? Jin thought with annoyance. He stalked past it and sat down on his bench, which added to his annoyance, was right against the tree's tiny trunk. This thing is puny... As Jin stared at the tiny tree, the realization grew larger and larger until he finally had to voice it out. “It's beautiful though...”


    “Thank you,” a voice said and Jin squeaked in surprise. Jin bounded back and he looked at the tree to see a transparent young man, probably a few years younger than himself. “Thanks Jin!” the young man exclaimed cheerfully.


    “Thanks for what?” Jin questioned, brows furrowing.


    The man giggled and he smiled, “You see a transparent person and instead of questioning the important details, you ask about the trivial things. I knew you were strange, but not this strange Bakanishi.”


    The word 'Bakanishi' rang in his head. He'd heard it somewhere... but he couldn't put his finger on it. Instead, he pressed on, “For what? And how do you know me?”


    “I'm thanking you for complimenting my beauty, I'm the tree spirit afterall,” the man replied, “I know you because... you were once my... let's call you my acquaintance.”


    Jin seemed to be pleased with the response as he nodded gravely and sat back down on the bench.


    Silence followed and out of curiousity, Jin reluctantly broke it, “So... who were you to me?”


    Jin peered behind him and saw the man's face was sad. Jin furrowed his brows but decided not to press on, if he were not willing to tell him, he wouldn't force it out.


    “I was... well, my name is Kamenashi Kazuya to start off with,” Kazuya began quietly after a few seconds, “you may not remember since God is quite cruel at times, but I was your bandmate in KAT-TUN, and I was also your –”


    Jin cut him off, “My band is called AT-TUN, not KAT-TUN. You must be mistaken.”


    Kazuya shook his head sadly, “No... it was once called KAT-TUN,” Kazuya stopped and stared into Jin's eyes. “You are now the unofficial leader, am I right?”


    Jin nodded.


    Kazuya smiled and continued, “I used to be the unofficial leader, before I died.” Then Kazuya's eyes lit up and he drew out his left hand's pinky to reveal a shiny pinky ring, one that matched the one Jin had on his opposite pinky. Jin had never questioned the origin of his pinky ring, he'd just figured it had always been there. Until now... he questioned it for the first time. However, no matter how long he tried to remember, he couldn't bring up the memory of attaining it.


    Jin's eyes widened and he shook his head in disbelief. He got up and packed his lunch before dashing away from the haunted garden, away from the lies. Jin refused to believe in such nonsense. He dashed up the stairs, not bothering to explain to the JE idols that sent him stares of confusion as he hurdled past them. On the last floor, he dropped his bentou accidentally, but left it to plunge down the stairs and ran into the hallways and to the door of AT-TUN's dressing room.


    - - -


    The next week, when AT-TUN had group work to do again, Jin pulled out his spare lunch box at lunch break and opened it. His dull eyes lit up as he saw his favourite: 3 riceballs, rice, fried chicken, beans, and a few takoyaki. Then he suddenly perked up. His bentou contained the same items as the bentou in his memory. He scavenged the old memory further until he stopped at the voice, but instead of the usual barrier restraining him to continue, it was as if it had opened and all the rest flooded into his head. He saw the owner of the voice, clear in his head. He looked just like Kamenashi Kazuya... the tree spirit.


    - - -


    “Haha, I've got a better lunch than you Bakanishi,” a voice broke out.


    Jin looked up and saw Kazuya standing above him, grinning like he was. “Oh, let's see then!” Jin challenged playfully.


    Kazuya's eyes sparkled and he sat down beside him and pulled out a bentou. “One, two...” then he lifted the lid and Jin's eyes sparkled. “No way! It looks so good!”


    Just then, the rest of KAT-TUN surrounded them and they let out simultaneous gasps and “Uwa~”.


    Jin pouted, “Kazu, you're lunch is always better than mine, it's not fair!”


    Kazuya smirked and replied, “Of course, I am better than you.”


    Then Kazuya giggled and embraced Jin affectionately, “Oh Bakanishi, I can't believe I fell in love with you.”


    “That's because of my charm,” Jin replied as he embraced Kazuya tightly.


    The rest of KAT-TUN scrambled off and let the two share on of their frequent “moments”.


    - - -


    Jin gaped and the takoyaki in his mouth dropped out and rolled off the table. Jin ignored it and he stood up abruptly and he knew where he was to go. He rushed out the door and down the stairs.


    - - -


    The reached into his jeans and brought out the shiny key. “Kame, I'm coming for you,” he whispered to himself, the nickname coming to him in the spur of the moment. He opened the door and saw –


    Nothing.


    - - -


    Kazuya was crying as he was driven off to the mountains in a truck. He was so joyous when he found that his tree would be planted in the Johnny's Jimusho's hidden garden as he knew that even hidden, their love would help Jin find him. He was right... and when he thought it was his happiest moment, it was all torn apart. His clear body shuddered violently as he cried.


    The truck drove down a turn in the road and entered the vast forest. Then, after a few minutes, the truck stopped abruptly. The driver walked out and he pulled the sakura tree, as well as Kazuya who was attached to it, up effortlessly as Kazuya was so malnourished as a tree and therefore tiny.


    The driver then stopped at a flat piece of land and, putting Kazuya's tree down, he grabbed a shovel and began to dig.


    With sweat trailing down his face, the driver picked the sakura tree up once again and stuck him into the hole and covered the hole up. The driver looked up after patting the soil firmly. “I'm sorry we had to bring you to this death trap, but it was unavoidable.” The driver bowed deeply and walked off, leaving Kazuya staring after the man with pure betrayal evident in his eyes.


    - - -


    Kazuya stared at the man that was retreating. How much Kazuya wanted to tear him apart, but quickly, Kazuya brushed the thought away and cursed himself for thinking such despicable ideas. Already, Kazuya could feel the soil here wasn't suitable for the tree. I will die and rot away here... Kazuya chuckled sadly, “Death even after death, ne?”


    - - -


    Jin rushed to the janitor that was sweeping the floor nearby, “Do you know anything about the location where the sakura tree was taken to?!” he asked frantically.


    The stunned janitor merely shook his head and apologized. However, Jin had rushed off already by the time the janitor said his apology.


    Kame, Kame, KAME! In his adrenaline, he rushed into a man and both fell. Jin got up quickly and mumbled a quick apology before he started to sprint again, but was soon stopped by firm hands. He turned back to see Tatsuya staring at him with his brown, wise eyes. “Ueda, I have to go, someone is in trouble, please –”


    Jin was cut off by Tatsuya, “Kamenashi Kazuya, right?”


    Jin blinked, “How'd you know?”


    Tatsuya chuckled, a genuine, friendly chuckle that was so foreign to Jin now. “I've always been aware of Kazuya's disappearance, he is my twin afterall,” Tatsuya's eyes sparkled as he said it.


    Jin blinked, “He's your twin?”


    Tatsuya rolled his eyes, “In Touch of course, and you call yourself a fan.”


    Jin nodded in understanding.


    “Perhaps God couldn't figure how to work my mind. I've always been labeled as complicated to read anyway,” Tatsuya said, his eyes distant.


    Jin nodded impatiently, “Look, it's great that both you and I know about him, but I really got to go save him!”


    “And do you know where he is?” Tatsuya questioned.


    Jin's weakness was struck, “Uhmm, not exactly,” Jin said and looked down shamefully.


    Tatsuya sighed and rolled his eyes, “You really need me, Bakanishi.”


    Jin's eyes widened at the nickname again, “You know that nickname?”


    Tatsuya nodded, “Kazuya and I used to tease you with that name,” and then he added, “it sure suits you.”


    Jin rolled his eyes and then he desperately asked, “Do you know where Kazuya's been transferred to?”


    Tatsuya grinned and nodded. He pulled out a wrinkly paper and unfolded it to reveal a complicated map of some sort. All Jin really understood was the lines that showed a vague path to follow. Jin was about to complain about the complexity when Tatsuya put a hand over his mouth, “Don't worry Jin, I know how to follow it,” he sighed out. Jin nodded stiffly and when Tatsuya uncovered his mouth, he gasped for air.


    - - -


    The wind blew at his face and Jin felt tears forming in his eyes. Whether it was the cause of the violent wind or simply his mixed emotions, he doesn't know. But... he knows one important thing and that is to save Kazuya, Kame, his love.


    “What are you going to do after you find him?” Tatsuya asked when he saw the determined sparkle in Jin's eyes. Jin turned and looked at Tatsuya and replied, “I don't know.”


    Tatsuya almost fell off the car seat and he scrambled back up and hollered, “YOU DON'T KNOW?”


    Jin nodded and then added, “Tat-chan, it's okay if you don't know sometimes. Sometimes... you just have to let fate decide and do what you need to do now, not later.”


    Tatsuya saw the wisdom in those words and nodded. Bakanishi, you've grown up well.


    - - -


    Kazuya leaned against his tree, huffing. His whole body was burning and his sight was hazy. He knew his second death would be soon... his tree couldn't hold up much longer in such bad conditions. Of course, his earlier malnourishment had a play in his soon to arrive death as well. Kazuya smiled, thankful that he at least got to see Jin one last time before his final death, even if it ended in a misunderstanding...


    As he closed his eyes, he saw a figure running at him and heard the screams. Kazuya forced his eyelids open, for just a few more moments to see the figure.


    “Jin,” Kazuya gasped out weakly when he saw the worried expression on Jin's face.


    “Kazuya! Kazuya! KAME, dammit, wake up!” Jin sobbed out.


    “Jin, don't... don't cry... I may be leaving, but God will only cut my existence from your memory again Jin so you won't have to suffer the pain of my disappearance,” Kazuya croaked out, and then he realized that he too were shedding tears.


    “Kazu, if I were to forget you, then I will just find a way to remember you again,” Jin said as he grabbed at the spot where Kazuya was. However, he only felt the air.



    His eyes blurred with tears, Jin stood up abruptly and walked stiffly to the sakura tree that was looking scrawnier than ever. He inhaled and he wrapped his arms around the trunk of the tree and for a moment, he felt as if he were one with the tree, one with Kazuya.



    Tatsuya stared at Jin, “Jin, what are you doing?” he asked. However, his voice was not questioning nor surprised even. It was just a hollow question.



    “I'm hugging Kazuya!” Jin sobbed out and his arms tightened around the trunk.


    Jin watched hopelessly as he saw Kazuya dissolve into nothingness right before his eyes... again, the sakura tree dissolving with Kazuya. “I won't lose you again Kazu, please don't go!” Jin wailed.


    Jin felt a warm breeze embraced his body in the cold forest before it disappeared, along with Kazuya.


    In Kazuya's place was a small sakura sapling, surrounded by the fresh white snow of Christmas day.


    [one-shot – end]