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Her Point of View
She had a smile that made you think she would never hurt you, that would melt your heart, make you think she cared enough to tell your problems to. She had braces adorned with the most bright and colorful colors. Her eyes were such a light blue that you could call them silver. Her wavy blonde hair was never up, but always hanging three quarters of the way down her back.
She put on a care free front to hide the hurt inside. Freak, is what they called her at school. Freak, idiot, b***h, any thing to bring her down. But she always smiled and took it. she would go home to her books, and drawings, and anything else to exspres her emotion. But some times it was so bad that she would lay on the bed for hours, and cry out in anguish, "Does any one have a heart? Are people so cold that they have ice in their hearts as well as in their gaze?"
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His Point of View
She was beautiful, with soft, cream colored skin, almost silver eyes, long and wavy blonde hair, and a smile to out shine the sun.
He could tell it hurtr her. He knew that it felt like daggers in her heart. He wanted to take her in his arms and let her know that someone loved her. i the mornings he could tell she had been, attacked by them. She had her jacket on but she couldn't completely cover the black eye with make-up.
But one day she wasn't there, and he over heard some one say, "Thank God we wern't caught. That would really get us in trouble. The last thing I heard as we ran away was a woman scream for an ambulance."
That after noon, he drove to the hospital. There she was, unconscious, pale, and as beautiful a ever. When she woke, there he was, sitting by her bed with his head in his hands. She screamed, and his head jerked up, and he said, "Wait, I wasn't one of the ones who put you here." As she looked at him, she realized he was telling the truth.
A nurse ran in, alerted by her scream. "What's the matter? What happened?' the nurse said. "Nothing, I was just suprised that some one was beside my bed, that's all." she replied
- by lalaland2106 |
- Fiction
- | Submitted on 08/12/2008 |
- Skip

- Title: How The Met
- Artist: lalaland2106
- Description: i just wrote a story down. no fancy planning like they always want you to do. took three minutes to think up and write so its not that awesome. PLEASE comment.
- Date: 08/12/2008
- Tags: help lalaland2106
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Comments (7 Comments)
- ConjureMan - 01/07/2009
- loved the idea! A few errors but those can be fixed keep up the good work!
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- Avenged Vampire86 - 01/02/2009
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I thought it was really cute.
**Thank you for not making it one giant wall of text! I hate those!!** - Report As Spam
- loveblackbutterflies - 08/22/2008
- Sounds good. It'd be great to check over typos of course, and remember to use full stops, ect. I like how you worded some things because they were out of the box and original. Try to improve with looking for better words here and there to describe actions or feelings more appropriately.
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- Innocence07 - 08/13/2008
- This is a lovely idea. It's been done but in this day and age what hasn't? i really love the way your wrote everything, like this part, Are people so cold that they have ice in their hearts as well as in their gaze?" There were a couple mistakes spelling wise that i caught but overall it was great if it isnt to much trouble would you mind reading mine? http://www.gaiaonline.com/arena/writing/fiction/vote/?entry_id=100012649
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- Arduinn - 08/13/2008
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Overall, the idea is good, and I think it would actually make quite a good short story if you left it where it was.
I think you should go through it again though, and try to compose your thoughts a little better. It's a cute idea though. ^^ Keep it up!
4/5 - Report As Spam
- XxPretty_Baby_MailyxX - 08/13/2008
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I liked it, It's a cute story... ^_^
can't wait to hear more, and if it's not a big trouble, when u post chapter 2 up...plz tell me
^_^
W/love~Maily - Report As Spam
- lalaland2106 - 08/12/2008
- i wrote it so i could put up a second chapter.
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